The Fidget King and Queen

Updated: Aug 4


Things I find in my handbag (yes, including the fiddly stone...)

If fidget spinners, rubik cubes and wobble cushions are part of your Mary Poppins handbag, then it is likely that you are a parent or carer of a kid with dyscalculia, Irlen, dyslexia, dyspraxia, ADD, ADHD and ASD,… in short, the spectrum.


And if you have come this far reading, then I assume this interests you because you are a veteran super mum/dad/carer (believe me, that’s what you are), and we don’t need to delve into the details, save to agree that in our experience the children often lack confidence, and experience stress and anger at a super high level.


My mum-day tends to start like this: Remind my daughter to have breakfast. Remind her to brush her teeth. Remind her to find socks before putting on shoes, take phone, iPad, keys, bus pass. So far so normal teen and pre-teen.

I also tend to give numerous hugs and reassurances to calm fear of tests, upset about incomplete gym bag because half of the contents got miraculously lost, assure that she really is quite brilliant and not rubbish at everything, promise to write to teacher about forgotten homework, pack everyone into the car only to return back home after 5 minutes to retrieve schoolbag, jacket, cello, phone, bus pass. I often get tearful calls during the day because my daughter is convinced that someone will shout at her because she forgot/lost something, or simply does not remember where she is supposed to go. Thankfully my girls go to a brilliant school, and the teachers are completely on the ball with stepping in and keep anxiety in check. Not everyone is this lucky, and I realise that girls are much more likely to call their mums for help than boys.

But I also found that children are inherently intuitive when it gets to essential oils, and they are very likely to reach for their tools as they need them. There are a number of must have oils for children on the spectrum, and here is a great article in Autism Parenting Magazine to find out more. I pretty much second all of these, and I love that this renowned magazine stands behind dōTERRA because of the unrivalled quality these oils. 


Usually my go-to Blend for focus is InTune, but I found that, although it is great for concentration (and a complete must-have for exams), it does not help so much with the anxiety that goes with having to cope in a loud and demanding school environment. I am forever trying new combinations, and found that these four oils combined make a super effective blend for short term memory, general forgetfulness, repetitive movements and fixations.


Fidget Relief Roller, 5ml


3 drops of Frankincense

4 drops of Balance

2 drops of Lavender

3 drops of Cedarwood





  • Frankincense helps calm the nervous system

  • Balance brings homeostasis to the mind and body

  • Lavender, the oil of communication, helps to calm the mind and empowers speech

  • Cedarwood supports attention and clear thinking


Top the roller with a carrier oil, apply to soles of feet first thing in the morning, and behind ears and along spine (if you don’t use DDR Prime already - if you do, continue with soles of feet) later in the day. Use 2 - 3 times initially, and then reduce to first thing in the morning, daily.


Using oils topically has them absorbed into the bloodstream within 30 seconds. Then they will be circulated through the entire body within 30 minutes.


Just remember, as with all natural solutions, nothing is a quick fix - don’t expect to roll on some Frankincense and all is hunky dory. But regular use of therapy grade essential oils promotes restful sleep, reduces toxicity, reduces emotional stress, improves brain function and boosts energy levels. If you are new to oils, I recommend you use professor Google and find answers to all these statements. Start with searching for ‘essential oils + pubmed’ - it may be helpful to look at scientific research first. Or you can contact me, I am happy to help. 


I also often diffuse a citrus oil after school, because children love the sweet scent, and citrus oils are known to be helpful to relieve stress, exhaustion and anxiety or simply calm our minds. Scents are powerful aromatic anchors, and returning to a quiet home with a scent that signals down and study time can be hugely beneficial for a child that craves order and routine. Wild Orange can help reduce anxiety levels, Lemon is good for focus and Lime is known for its uplifting properties. If you would like to try any of those, contact me, and I’ll be happy to arrange a consultation and send you some samples.

As a mum, I sure cannot fix a lot of things. But I can give tools, and that is a battle half won.

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© 2019 by Iris Anne Waller

95 Lansdowne Lane

Charlton, London, SE7 8TN