• Iris Anne Waller

Self-Love is not Optional

I was not always this wholesome. In fact, I devoted much of my misspent youth to dancing the nights away, promoting clubs, working as a cocktail mixologist, and presenting myself as a general social butterfly around the world. And yes, I kind of see the irony that my ecstasy swilling nineties-self turned into someone who won’t clean her toilets with bleach or use fluoride toothpaste.

But the real irony is that, in my case, this is the one path I had to go down in order to be genuine as a healer today. I have lived the ups and the downs; I know what it means to feel numb, rejected, self-loathing and utterly exhausted because longterm partying isn’t all they make it out to be. And when I evolved from social butterfly to equally numb, rejected, self-loathing plus sleep-deprived wife and mum, the drugs were replaced by habits of ‘wine o’clock’ and that tongue-in-cheek-haha label of ‘shabby parenting’ at extended pub-lunches with friends, leaving me riddled with guilt after I grew out of it.

Whatever our goals on the road to happiness, self-medication is usually the very first choice when the going gets tough.

Even when the going is easy we tend to stop the good things we’re doing — because change is not always comfortable. Alignment is a steady flame of intelligence, and once we learn to hold up against that great inner saboteur — otherwise known as the Ego — the shift happens.

My inner broadcast changed from party-gal to wise-woman because I slowly (very slowly) changed my vibrations.

smiling woman lying on lawn with a puppy
Happiness comes from within

With my daily baby steps of active self-love, everything around me changed for the better. Not drinking was just part of the ticket, and I am still not completely tea-total. I simply decided not to beat myself up about it when I realised I couldn’t be that, because I carry enough guilt around as it is.

First: my yoga practices. Non-negotiable, daily. I am not talking a 90-minute workout here people - 5 minutes daily, sometimes 20 or 30, and an occasional class thrown in. It’s the steady focus on the breath as I glide into the familiar poses on my mat that fuelled an inner strength I was not even aware was growing. That first sun salutation of the day is now as ingrained into my being as brushing my teeth.

Then I started to sit still in earnest. I can confirm that meditation is blooming difficult, but when I found my path… wow! If sitting still is not your thing, I recommend you look up Synctuition - you can try it free for a week. I actively look forward to my meditation time now and feel almost sad when coming out of the deep relaxation. My point is: you must find your own way, one you love. Whether quiet, guided, mindfulness/mantra, Yoga Nidra, Synctuition - there is a myriad of options, and there WILL be one for you.

Once the essential oils entered the scene, the change was complete. I have used oils in my yoga studio for decades, but my first encounter with dōTERRA oils was something else. Inhaling truly pure oils daily completely and utterly elevated my vibrations. I use them internally and topically and made my own produce (lotions, balms, cleaning products, candles and more), slowly banishing toxins and surrounding myself with plant goodness.

And so, over time, I realised that I had said no to that second glass of wine more often than not. That my sleep improved, my energy levels increased, my self worth rose and my curiosity awoke. I was determined to change, instead of just practicing wishful thinking.

The transformation was real. I left an abusive relationship and stopped feeling like a fraud. While I am not a multi-millionaire, I earn a steady income and can provide for my family. Now that I am completely in tune with my intuition, I trust in yoga and my inner wisdom and I am utterly, utterly unapologetic about my daily self-care routines.

There were only 2 days when my life hit rock-bottom during my divorce where I could not cope. One day I found myself having a panic attack in a supermarket because I couldn’t find something in my handbag. And on another, I suddenly felt so fearful of what my future will hold I was almost paralysed.

Those two episodes had one thing in common: I had hit the ground running at 6 am, telling myself there was too much to do for fiddling around with oils and silly stones.

I had not remotely appreciated how absolutely fundamental these are for my core strength, and every single one of my little habits has reshaped me to the woman I am today.

In truth, I always knew my path, even in my party heydays. I simply chose not to listen. I know that deep inside, you know yours too. The question is: Are YOU ready?

If you think you are, make sure to join the list to be the first to be informed about my new course, launching in January. What are you waiting for?

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