No-one can drink from an empty cup

It didn’t look as if it was going to happen this year, but we’re packing up our household and decamp to France for the summer this Friday.

That's always a major upheaval, and as I look at the mess and try to decide what needs doing next, I mutter:”Damn, I don’t even know what to write about in this weeks blog, and it needs to be done today."

Thankfully I have a smart teen in the house. “Write about the untidiness of the kitchen? How you have to go shopping but you don’t even know what you need yet? How you can’t find the sieve for dusting the bread? How you haven’t sent out your samples yet? How you seem to have writers block, but you never run out of words when it gets to telling me what to do?”

You know what? I will. Because I am the first to tell all my clients and the world at large that you cannot drink out of an empty cup, and yet here I am piling up the jobs. And eating frigging MSG coated pretzels for lunch while baking bread for the family and answering every incoming WhatsApp message that disrupts my flow. Which meant I had not even noticed that I got them out of the cupboard in the first place.

So, firstly, quick note to self: Give full attention what you’re doing. And eat less crap. But yes, we do have a blog theme: Because while I am trying to serve everyone, I forgot to serve myself.

We women were brought up with the belief that we always have to work, and even more importantly, have to work a little harder than everybody else to make it count. The thought of self-care, rest and me-time seems indulgent, and you just have to look at Facebook to see how we broadcast this as a rare occasion.

My husband on the other hand has no problems ‘replenishing his testosterone’ as he likes to call it, away from the 3 women in his life.⠀I have yet to see him post “taking a well-deserved break watching the footie” It’s not an event for him, and it neither should be for me.

If I have learned one thing, then it is that I cannot give what I don’t have. I cannot be strong, when I am weak, calm when I am depleted, enthusiastic when I am beyond tired. Or, for that matter, returning to writing this blog, be creative when I am overwhelmed.


I rolled out my mat and did a few minutes of restorative yoga. I streamed Solfeggio Frequencies on the Sonos. And then I made a list. Everything fell into place, and I did figure out my shopping and sent out my samples. And yes, I found something to do for smart teen too.  

Take note when you slip into 'I must get EVERYTHING done perfectly' mode,  Self-care really is not optional. Make your self-love a habit and don’t let others intrude into it. My family surely have tried to snatch that time I give myself BEFORE they wake up by handing over tasks.


Take 3 deep breaths,, stretch for 5 minutes, and have a drink of water or tea. Rest your mind (not by playing a game on your phone. That actually achieves the opposite). Slot in regular self-care moments - 10 minutes of yoga, or a little face massage.Delegate. Start again. Make a list. You'll be surprised. Because no-one can drink from an empty cup.⠀



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© 2019 by Iris Anne Waller

95 Lansdowne Lane

Charlton, London, SE7 8TN